Happy New Year!
Here it is, at long last, the story of Lola 2009 (or what I can remember of it) together with a full round up of the year.
The golfing calendar got underway sometime in April/May with the ‘The Champions of Champions’ at the PGA Course, Gleneagles.
This 18-hole matchplay competition is played between the past 4 Lola victors, or those available.
The Lowlanders (Wallace & Tullminator) took on defending champs The Highlanders (Bear & Kitten) for the third time in a row. All that I can remember is getting humped 3&2 (I think) in the pissing rain, probably the wettest game of golf ever! The Lowlanders became Champions of ‘Champions of Champions’ for the first time. NB Mr Shurgold now becomes eligible to play, Tull you have to fuck off until you win the Lola again!
The Big One:
The stage for ‘Lola 2009’ was the Kingdom of Fife, and the first to be played under the Stableford format. Fantastic organisation/pimping/whatever...... by Mr & Mrs Butler and The Wallace resulted in a sumptuous golfing affair that temporarily shielded competitors from any credit crunch that may have been happening in the outside world.
Day 1: Competitors arrived at Ladybank Golf Club in various guises; some resembling golfers, some resembling chaps that owned nice clubs and others who looked like they’d been caning it in the car park for an hour or two. This was later reflected in the scores.
Fine weather, a beautiful course and a warm welcome from Duncan resulted in a very enjoyable opener to the Lola, for most.
Kitten 39, Sugar Walls 38, Tullminator 37, Wallace 35, Cool Hand & Adz 33, Bear 24, Mary 22. The Butler did not make an appearance.
That evening - fine accommodation at the Fairmont - St Andrews, followed by splendid nosh at The Seafood Restaurant, where the generous hospitality was abused to the utmost. Over exuberant male bonding back at the Fairmont could have resulted in visits from two of the three emergency services (and the loss of Tull’s eyebrows), but thankfully did not!
Day 2: A threatening sky bared its teeth briefly on the opening holes of the majestic Kingsbarns Golf Course. Form remained similar to the previous round. “Look guys, I’m struggling to remember what the hell happened, it was months ago, all anecdotes welcome.”Kitten 34(73), Tullminator 33(70), Cool Hand 36(69), Sugar Walls 30(68), Adz 32(65), Wallace 29(64), Mary 33(55), Bear 17(41). The Butler played a few holes and vanished!
Anstruther chippie and some half-hearted drinks at the hotel finished off a subdued (as always) second day.
Day3: The 3rd and final round was played on The Fairmont - Kittocks Course. The wind had definitely picked up over night and a true links experience was on the cards for the lunchtime tee off.
Now, a stiff North Sea breeze and the Kitten’s finely honed golf game go together like a plate of ham sandwiches at a Bar Mitzvah, and after the opening 9 holes his 3pt lead had become a 5pt deficit! With 9 holes still to play, the leaderboard looked like this – Tull 87, Cool 86, Sugar 84, Kit 82, Adz 81........ The Butler – didn’t see him.
The Tullminator had an unprecedented third title in his sights, but with Cool Hand just a shot away and blatantly flaunting his steady 7’s and ladies handicap, the game was far from over. Sugar Walls lurked in the shadows, his rapist’s eyes having a heightened intensity about them. Tull soon pissed away his chances over the next 7 holes, going from 1st to 5th. Two holes to go and Sugar led the field by just 1pt from Cool Hand & a resurgent Kitten, with the ever consistent Adz a further 3pts adrift.
4pts from the final two holes was more than enough for the young whipper snapper to clinch the title and break Scottish hearts once again.
Congratulations to Mr Shurgold, a deserved winner, and we look forward to seeing his 2010 handicap. Cool Hand Kelly didn’t quite have enough (even with a ladies handicap) to go from Spoon to Champion in the space of a year, but The Bear had plenty in the ‘shit golf department’ to clinch a fabulous Wooden Spoon!
Plenty of drunkenness had by all that night, even The Wallace gave it a go!
The wearing of the Green Jacket was embarrassingly forgotten about and a fragile champion was presented with it, by a clubhouse waitress, the following day after everyone else had buggered off. Not deterred by this omission the young victor then set out on a 6 month tour of the United Kingdom with the Green Jacket, visiting all manner of places.
The Stableford format was hailed a great success and will remain for the foreseeable future.
1st Sugar Walls Shurgold 35(103)
2nd Cool Hand Kelly 33(102)
=3rd Adz 35(100)
=3rd Kitten 27(100)
5th Tullminator 26(96)
6th The Wallace 21(85)
7th Mary 19(74)
Spoon – Bear 21(62)
A New BeginningIn September of 2009 our very own Cool Hand Kelly became a Daddy (having finally got his little soldiers marching in the right direction - it was all going a bit Dunkirk for a while), and him and his Missus only went and called the wee thing ‘Lola’!! Congratulations to all.
And maybe your Daddy will win the trophy one day and make you proud, but don’t hold your breath toots!
Also in September, handsome golfing star Kitten won his local competition ‘the Tomintoul Golf Open’, so well done to him.
Bristol Bowling4Booze
This has already been covered briefly and there’s no point in elaborating too much.
Prior to the start of play; Monty Carlo Jamie did a runner, Cool Hand attempted to run but was restrained (poor little Lola), and the premises did not sell Alcopops so a local scrumpy substitute was made.
Richie got himself disqualified before the first game ended for refusing to drink more scrumpy, Fat Bob was next to be booted out for throwing all his scrumpy back up and refusing more, it appeared that all remaining participants would fail to break 100 in Game 1(unheard of) until Cool Hand scraped into 3 figures.
The final game descended into farce with Richie’s boredom turning to mischief; multiple ball tossing, tripping of competitors etc..... lights went out, the rest is history. To be fair, Cool Hand Kelly was probably leading as the lights flickered, but as is so often the case, he’d begun to flag desperately and was being viciously reeled in, there was no guarantee of victory (poor little Lola).
1st Game scores: Cool Hand 112, Fat Bob 98, Bear 93, Bazza 91, Kitten 70, Rich DQ.
Things to be learnt from Bristol – Don’t let Richie organize anything, don’t let The Bear come dressed as a tramp, don’t be led to casino by Richie & Bazza at 8pm with the promise of free money, always take taxis everywhere and don’t attempt to map read in the city, don't let Cool Hand book the hotel, don’t let Richie organize anything!
Well, I think that’s about it, 2010 will be the 10th anniversary of the founding of the Belhaven Golf Society and playing of the Lola Tuna Cup (we still have the Tuna Cup, but where is the Tuna, anyone know?), so should be a big one. Initial mutterings seem to be focusing on the end of summer (September) for Lola 2010.
Have a great 2010 from Lolablog!!!!!!!!!
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